We Must Face Reality: Autism Disorders Can Be Harmful, Even Deadly

After discovering an arm, torso and legs Thursday, police continue the search for human remains along a rocky shoreline in Queens, Friday, Jan. 17, 2014. The remains belong to 14-year-old Avonte Oquendo, officials confirmed Tuesday. (AP Photo/Jason DeCrow) 

Neurodiversity cult members, including some autism professionals, academics and neuroscience students like to scream at parents and other family members who speak honestly about the dangers and deficits endured by children and adults who actually suffer from autism disorders.  Television, movies, and the mass media generally, love to provide a Big Bang picture of autism as persons with unique personalities and special gifts and extraordinary intelligence.  There is little appetite for, and as a result, less public awareness of,  honest, reality based discussions of the harm and dangers posed by severe autism disorders.   Lack of public understanding of the dangers posed by autism disorders may or may not have been a factor contributing to the departure, and now confirmed death of New York autistic youth Avonte but it certainly didn't help.  The Neurodiversity cult members who constantly fight to hide the dangerous realities posed by autism disorders may not be responsible in this specific case for what has occurred but they have not helped with their constant misinformation campaign, their constant suppression of the truth about autism disorders, the harm they can cause and the dangers they can pose to many with autism disorders.

As a father I was at fault several years ago, when my severely autistic son was younger, of not keeping a close enough watch on him when I took a business call on a Saturday afternoon.  For my son, and for me, it ended well when a good Fredericton man stopped his vehicle to remove my son from the busy traffic that he was facing crossing a local street, unaware of his danger, and took him to a convenience store where he called the police at 911.  I was able on the conclusion of my business call to find and recover him quickly once I too called 911.  Sadly, Avonte the autistic New York youth has now been confirmed to be dead 3 months after he simply left his school after walking past security. 

I am NOT suggesting that greater awareness of the very real dangers posed by autism would, or would not, have helped in Avonte's case.  In my son's case our school has been made clear, and the school has agreed, that our son requires, for his own safety,  24 hour  adult supervision which he also receives at home. Greater public awareness of the very real dangers posed by autism disorders must be undertaken now in order to reduce the likelihood of future deaths of autistic persons who wander from homes and schools. It is long past time to be honest about the harm and dangers posed by autism disorders.  My son and others with severe autism disorders depend on all of us being honest about the realities and dangers they face.

Autism Reality Check: Wandering and Tragedy

Some promote the view that autism disorders are "gifts" if only society could understand, change its ways and accept the gifts. The autism as a gift view, is irrational nonsense. It thrives by simply ignoring the evidence of challenges presented by autism disorders including those like wandering or elopement which sometimes lead to tragic consequences.

Like many with autism disorders my son  once left our home unnoticed - he slipped out of the house while I was occupied on a business call. When the call ended and I couldn't find him I called 911 and was able to recover him safe and sound from a local convenience store where a good Frederictonian had taken him after stopping his truck on the busy road to take him to safety. We had a behavior analyst work with him to teach him not to leave home unattended and we increased our attention to his whereabouts from intense to unrelenting,  making sure we know at all times, every minute,  every second of the day, where he is.

Wandering, some times with tragic results, is an autism reality that is often reported in the news but not always acknowledged by those who promote the nonsense that autism is a gift not a disorder or who downplay the serious realities presented by autism disorders:

American Academy of Pediatrics: Study Finds Nearly Half of Children with Autism Wander Off , For Release: Monday, October 8, 2012 

"Anecdotally, parents of children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) report that their children often place themselves in danger by wandering off, or “eloping.” For the first time, a study has determined the frequency of these elopements in children with ASD and the impact on children and families. 

The study, “Occurrence and Family Impact of Elopement in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders,” published in the November 2012 issue of Pediatrics (published online Oct. 8) was funded by several autism advocacy organizations and led and conducted by the Interactive Autism Network at Kennedy Krieger Institute. 

Researchers surveyed 1,367 families with children between the ages of 4 and 17 who had been diagnosed with ASD. Nearly half – 598, or 49 percent – of the families reported that their child had attempted to elope at least once after age 4. Of those, 316 children went missing long enough to cause concern. 

Greater autism severity was associated with increased elopement risk. Children eloped most commonly from their home, a store, classroom or school. Nearly half of parents said their child’s elopement was focused on an intent to go somewhere or do something, versus being confused or lost. Close calls with calamities like traffic injury or drowning are frequent, with police called in more than a third of cases. 

Of parents whose children had eloped, 43 percent said the issue had prevented family members from getting a good night’s sleep, and 62 percent said their concerns had prevented family from attending or enjoying activities outside the home. For 56 percent of parents, elopement was one of the most stressful behaviors they had to cope with as caregivers of a child with ASD, and half said they received no guidance from anyone on preventing or addressing this behavior. 

Until more research can be conducted to develop interventions to address elopement, study authors hope the results of the study will inform families, doctors, educators and first responders who grapple with the consequences of elopement."

Note -The AAP news release above does not mention the study finding, as published in the Pediatrics study report linked above that:

"Elopement may be a significant contributor to mortality in individuals with ASD, which has been reported to be nearly twice that of the general population,³ especially mortality owing to accidents, such as suffocation and drowning.⁴Despite reports of injuries, fatalities, and increased family burden, little research on elopement behavior in individuals with ASD has been conducted.^5"

Many are aware of the autistic Queens, NY youth, Avonte Oquendo,  who slipped past a  school security desk on October 4, 2013 and has been missing ever since.  Some other recent wandering events, some with tragic conclusions:

Australia, Telegraph News, December 28, 2013: Sugar cane community of Chatsworth Island in mourning over the tragic drowning death of Connor Elliott-Graham, 4:

"DEVASTATED relatives of the four-year-old "cheeky angel" who drowned in the Clarence River were still struggling to articulate their grief yesterday. Three volunteer divers found the body of Connor Elliott-Graham, still in his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pyjamas, on Boxing Day during a massive air and land search of the tiny sugar cane community of Chatsworth Island, 60km north of Grafton. It's believed that while parents David and Caity slept in the early hours of December 26, their son, who suffers from autism, climbed out of his bed and wandered across the road to the vast river in the state's north."

Missing autistic Bronx boy found in New York’s Time Square December 3, 2013 by Autism Daily Newscast, News In Brief New York, USA: 

A 12 year old boy described by the department of education as a high functioning autistic has been found wandering around Times Square,Manhattan New York after being reported missing after walking out of P.S. 188 on Cauldwell Avenue at around 10:30 a.m. Monday December 2. He was found after safely walking from Caldwell avenue to Times square, by the truancy task force, who were called to the scene and arrived at the school six minutes after the boy was reported missing.

NJ.com, December 9, 2013 - Missing autistic teenager found in Vineland

MILLVILLE — A missing autistic teenager was found in Vineland, according to authorities, after wandering from his Sunset Drive home. Robert Francesconi, 15, left his Millville residence Monday around 8:30 a.m., police said. Members of the Vineland Fire Department later found him near the intersection of Chestnut Avenue and Southeast Boulevard around 3 p.m. According to his parents, he is known to wander to high-traffic areas by foot in Millville and Vineland — visiting a different destination each time he has gone missing. 

Missing autistic boy found dead- NZ, Manawatu-Standard,  November 23, 2013

A missing 11-year-old autistic boy has been found dead in a swimming pool near his home, police have said. Police had been searching since about 3pm for William Archer who was last seen at a family address in North Street in the afternoon. Inspector Mike Coleman from central communications said the boy was dead when he was found about 11:15pm last night. Earlier police had said a lot of people had been looking for the boy since he was reported missing, including search and rescue staff, local police and his family.

Great Autism News: 15 Year Old Boy With Autism And Intellectual Disability Found Safe

As the father of a 17 year old young man with severe autism, intellectual disability and epileptic seizures I am very happy to read that 15 year old autistic boy Louis Martin was found safe in Montreal after being reported missing by his father (who also tweeted his son's disappearance).  

Wandering is a very serious problem for persons with autism, particularly when they also suffer from "comorbid" intellectual disability. It is long past time that everyone including mainstream media, Hollywood, television and autism "experts" stopped glorifying those with exceptional talents and started presenting full,  honest pictures of autism disorders.

As reported by The Montreal Gazette:

"Montreal police have located a 15-year-old boy with autism who went missing from his Outremont home early Saturday morning. Louis Martin was spotted near the Lionel-Groulx métro station after police had asked the public for help in finding the boy, who has the mental age of a 4-year-old.

Pierre Martin, the boy’s father, sent out a message on Twitter saying his son is safe.Martin, a political-science professor at the Université de Montréal, had tweeted his son’s disappearance on Saturday.

Police officers spent much of Saturday searching metro stations, parks, streets and alleys trying to locate the boy."

Severe Autism Parenting Reality: An Old Fear Returns

Conor walking with Dad this morning. I often let him walk a  

distance ahead of me so he can make decisions and demonstrate his 

knowledge of routes and how to get home on his own if necessary.

Today an old fear returned and grabbed me firmly.  It was the greatest fear I have known in my life.  And it came back with full force. 

I have written a couple of times on this site about the time several years ago, when Conor was much younger, and he left the house unnoticed while he was in my sole  care.  When I realized he was missing I ran around the house, down to the Saint John River which was close to our home, across a nearby busy parking lot and then back home before calling 911. The 911 operator told me he had been taken into a nearby convenience store by a good Frederictonian who had stopped his vehicle to remove Conor from traffic to safety.  The man left as soon as I arrived and identified myself and he new Conor was safe. He left without waiting to be thanked. 

Today, years later, I was again the adult in charge and I was again distracted by a business call.  When the call was ended and I looked for Conor I realized he had again left unnoticed.  I ran outdoors around our house calling his name without spotting him,  then ran back upstairs to speak with his brother who had been busy in his room and hadn't heard him go out. When I ran down the stairs Conor stepped into the house and I was again relieved.  I believe he had just been in the back yard starting to leave via a shortcut to one or our regular walking paths and heard me calling for him. 

Conor is no longer a small child physically but he has serious cognitive challenges and severe autism disorder. When we go on our almost daily walks I will often let him walk ahead of me, within eyesight, to let him make the decisions about the direction to go to find our way home.  I have done so in the hope that if he does leave unnoticed he will know his way back which I believe he does. For that reason I  was not as fearful, or not quite as fearful, when  I couldn't find him quickly today.  I admit it though.  I was scared again.  And thankful when Conor returned to the house. Very thankful.

Autism and Wandering: It's A Matter of Life and Death

The Vancouver Sun is one of the very few media outlets that has presented an honest, reality based picture of autism disorders  to the public.  The series Faces of Autism remains one of the most comprehensive, honest portrayals of autism ever presented by mainstream media.  It comes as no surprise then that the Vancouver Sun has highlighted the important autism issue of wandering autistic children for exactly what it is ... a life and death issue.

In Search for missing boy highlights autism issue Autistic children are prone to wandering, forcing parents to take drastic measures to protect them the Vancouver Sun presents a Mike Appleyard/Postmedia News report on Adam Benhamma, the young, mute, autistic boy from the Laval area near Montreal who has been missing for several days near icy waters. The article tells of the tendency of autistic children to wander, of the efforts parents must make to protect their autistic children from wandering and the impact it has on them, and reports on the IAN, Interactive Autism Network,  announcement of a national survey to study the prevalence of wandering among individuals with autism.

Veronica Fraser, mother of James DeLorey,  the young autistic boy from Nova Scotia who was lost in a snow storm and died in hospital shortly after being found provides insight from her son's tragedy. Wendy Fournier of the National Autism Association comments on the IAN study and on her own personal experience with her wandering autistic child:

"Fournier said she hopes this study will help parents understand why autistic children wander.


"We have parents who literally sleep outside their child's door because they're afraid their kids are going to get out of the house. It's a huge, terrifying problem," she said.


Fournier noted that her daughter Aly is autistic, and said she has experienced the fear of losing her child -something that is common among parents of autistic children.


"One day I was sitting on the couch, drinking coffee. All of our doors are completely locked -there's no way she can get out of the house. And my doorbell rings. It's my neighbour telling me that my daughter is next door trying to get into the swimming pool. And I have no idea that she was even out of the house.""

I have remarked on several occasions on this blog site about my personal experience with wandering, of the day when my son Conor slipped out of the house while I was on the phone discussing a business matter.  Thanks to good luck, a Good Samaritan who removed Conor from traffic on a busy street and him to a safe location, and our local 911 service Conor, and I, were very fortunate, we came out on the happy side of  the life and death reality of wandering autistic children.

Adam Benhamma and his family are living with that life and death reality right now.

I hope that Adam, despite the grim situation, is found safe and sound.

Harsh Autism Reality in Nova Scotia

Canadians are hoping right now for the safe return of 7 year old James Delorey, the non-speaking autistic boy who wondered from his Cape Breton home Saturday afternoon before snow and wind conditions picked up.

I have some idea of the fear and other emotions the family of this boy are feeling right now. In a 2006 comment on this site, Vigilance, Constant Vigilance I described the terror I felt , for a brief period, when my autistic son Conor went missing while I was occupied on a business phone call. That situation could have turned out badly but he, and I, were fortunate as a good Samaritan stopped and helped him across a busy street to a convenience store where I was able to retrieve him after calling 911.

I hope beyond hope that it turns out as well for young James Delorey and his family. Autism has many wandering children. It is one of the gravest dangers and harshest realities faced by autistic children and their families. It is an autism reality that the world needs to hear about.

Let's all hope for a Christmas miracle and James Delorey's safe return.

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Autism and Wandering: Our Kids Disappear

"Our kids disappear. It's as simple as that".

The above remark is from Susan J. Loring, Director, Autism Resource Center of Central Massachusetts quoted in Safe, not sorry Locators help find autistic children on the Worcester Telegram & Gazette page NEWS telegram.com. The article reports the happy outcome of a missing autistic child in Worcester found safe after wandering away and getting lost and provides and also reports generally on the tendency of autistic children to wander away:

"In addition to experiencing seizures, social behavior issues and learning disabilities, autistic children wander.

Ninety-two percent of children with autism are prone to wandering, according to the National Autism Association. According to a report by the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, elevated death rates among those with autism were in large part attributed to drownings, after they had wandered away."

People who believe that autism is a joy, that autism deficits are simply the product of social intolerance, will not want to acknowledge the real life dangers posed by the real life deficits that often accompany autism disorders. It is hard to promote autism as a life style or superior way of thinking when autistic children routinely wander away, in some cases to great harm.

As the father of a boy with Autistic Disorder and profound developmental delays, (he is severely autistic), I have lived through the experience of having Conor wander away while I was preoccupied with a business phone call. Despite crossing a busy city street adjacent to our home at the time everything turned out OK, thanks in large part to a Good Samaritan who stopped his vehicle, took him to the convenience store on the other side of the street and remained at the store with him. After calling 911 I went to retrieve Conor. The Good Samaritan waited only until I arrived then immediately turned and left before I could thank him or find out who he was.

I usually repeat this story on this site each time I read of an autistic child wandering away. I am not a generally fearful person. I am a fairly big man who grew up on army bases where you learned to fend for yourself. As a lawyer I am used to speaking up and asserting myself. But the fear ... and the guilt ... that I felt while Conor was missing, and before I knew he was safe, were both extremely intense. After living through such an experience I have no time for the ideologies that deny the harsher realities of autism disorders.

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Autism's Wandering Children

A recent occurrence in Indiana is another reminder of one of the realities of raising autistic children. In some cases, a parent has to be on 24/7 alert to make sure that the child, even when he or she becomes an adult, does not wander away into danger. I have posted on this blog several times about news such as that of an adult, severely autistic man, Keith Kennedy, who wandered away from camp into the woods for a week or the child who wandered off into traffic never to return.

I have also talked here of my own experience several years ago when Conor wandered away from the house while I was occupied on a business call. He wandered across a busy parking lot and main street where he was picked up by a good samaritan and taken to a nearby convenience store where I was able to recover him after calling 911.

In the recent Indiana case an exhausted mother, fatigued in part by allergy medications, sat down on a couch and fell asleep. When she awoke an hour later the front door of her apartment was open and her child was gone. The child was found wandering and police were called who in turn called child protection. While the police waited for Child Protection Services to arrive other police officers found the mother driving around looking for her child.

Local CPS is continuing to evaluate the case in Indiana but this is one autism parent, in another part of the world, who understands the challenges faced by that Indiana mom. The reality is that some autistic children require constant supervision and there are times when life, a phone call, fatigue, an emergency, or a dozen other reasons, does not always cooperate.

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Time To Take Autism Seriously - Utah Man With Severe Autism Found

Even the cases of two young men with severe autism implicated in homicides, one involving his mother, are not enough to shake some "joy of autism" Neurodiversity followers from misrepresenting the realities of autism. Even some well intentioned, polite people just don't get it. They just refuse to see the harsher realities faced by some autistic persons.

In Utah another event highlighting the serious realities facing some with autism and their families has developed since Sunday evening when severely autistic 20 year old Justin Bailey went missing. It is now being reported on ParkRecord.com that Mr. Bailey has been found and appears to be OK.

Autistic children and adults go missing with some frequency. My own severely autistic son went missing while I was occupied on a business phone call several years ago. He crossed a busy commercial street near our home before a Good Samaritan stopped his vehicle and took him to an adjacent convenience store where the police were contacted and where I was able to retrieve him after calling 911.

Last year we were all relieved to learn that an autistic man, Keith Kennedy, was found alive in the woods and was OK almost a week after he wandered away from the camp at which he was staying in Wisconsin. It does not always end as well as it did for Keith Kennedy and Conor Doherty and as it apparently has for Justin Bailey.

Wandering, and the dangers of every day life that some severely autistic persons do not understand, are very real challenges that should not be ignored in an effort to present a "posautive" view of medical disorders, of autism disorders. We must continue to provide ABA to help autistic children develop to their fullest potential. We must seek even more effective treatments ..... and cures ..... for autism disorders.

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Flat Out Good Autism News

The word autism has almost become a synonym for controversy.

Parents are routinely mocked and demonized for seeking to cure or treat their own children. ABA, well documented as an effective intervention for autism by decades of study and numerous credible professional reviews is labeled as "unproven" by anti-ABA advocates. Terms such as low functioning/high functioning used in the professional literature are disparaged. Mentioning possible environmental contributors to autism rates is dismissed by some even though studies show that autism can sometimes occur in one but not both identical twins. Even referencing autistic disorders as .... disorders... generates controversy.

But surely there is one point on which we can all agree; that everyone wishes for the safety and well being of all autistic persons. And surely we can all be thankful when news reports tell us that that two autistic persons are now safe and sound after wandering away from their homes in Utah and Boston.

The Deseret News reports that a 22-year-old severely autistic woman, described as having the mental capacity of a 5 year old, who wandered away from home in Provo Utah Sunday night was found safe Tuesday morning in Salt Lake City. In Boston, earlier this week, the Herald reported that a 3-year-old autistic child was rescued from danger by police after drivers saw him riding his tricycle amid speeding traffic on a busy thoroughfare.

As a parent who has experienced the fear and guilt of realizing that my autistic son had wandered away from the safety of home while I was distracted those feelings are revived every time I learn of another autistic person who has wandered away or is missing. The feeling of relief I experienced when, after calling 911, I learned my son was safe at a nearby convenience store where I quickly retrieved him, also resurfaces when the stories have good endings as they did this week in Utah and Boston.

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7 Year Old Autistic Boy Wanders Away From Camp And Into Traffic

Not long after autistic adult Keith Kennedy wandered away from a camp in Wisconsin 7 year old autistic boy Colin Hays wandered away from camp in Maryland - where he was spotted by his mother a short time after she had dropped him off for the day wandering the shoulder of a busy highway. As reported by myfox washington d.c.:

"he ... crossed over busy Montgomery Road and walked over a highway bridge. Then, he climbed down and wound up walking on a highway on ramp shoulder .... The posted speed limit on the ramp is 40 miles an hour, but traffic routinely travels at speeds of 50 or faster.

Colin's mother says she was walking about four feet from the whizzing cars when she happened to drive by. "My heart stopped, I slammed on the brakes," said Kristen Detwiler, the boy's mom. "I stopped my car, left the car on the middle of 100. I ran out in a skirt and heels and started chasing him screaming, "Colin, stop! It's Mommy! Stop!'" Detwiler was able to successfully rescue her son from the dangerous situation. "

I can imagine the fear felt by Kristen Detwiler when she saw her son in danger.

I admire her courageous action in rescuing him.

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Autism and Wandering, Missing Autistic Girl Found Safe

It is sometimes difficult to listen to, or read, statements by a few celebrity, high functioning autistic persons, and others who embrace their ideology, who claim that autism is just another natural variation of the human condition, a difference to be embraced, a joy in itself. I have never pretended to accept this view. At least not for those, like my son, for whom autism presents serious life restrictions and risks. One of those dangerous, even life threatening risks, is the tendency of some autistics to wander off, to get lost ... or worse. In some cases things end well ..... in others they do not. This story has a good ending:

Missing Autistic Girl, 13, Found Safe, ... Janelle Halbrook had last been seen near Lake Center Middle School at Clarkman Street and Pioneer Boulevard around 4 p.m. Wednesday, Whittier police Officer Jason Zuhlke said. ... The mother told police that Halbrook has a tendency to wander whenever her routine is interrupted, as she did in a similar "walk-away" incident several months ago.

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Autism Reality - Two Autistic Men Go Missing in Chicago Area

The reality of autism is much more than heart warming feel good stories. The reality of autism is not a culture, or a life style choice, for many severely affected persons with autism and their families. The news is often filled with such stories of autistic persons, children and adults, who wander off, and get lost, unable to look out for their own safety and well being. Sometimes such stories have happy conclusions. Other times ... they do not. I have commented in the past of a terrifying personal experience when my son left our home while I was talking on the phone. In the Chicago area TWO autistic men wandered off, went missing, in the last week alone.

In Family searches for missing man abc7chicago reports on 21 year old Jamaris Collins, who has the mental capacity of a young child, who had not returned several days after telling his aunt he was going for a walk to a nearby store. In Autistic man missing in Lyons the Chicago Tribune reported on John Valle, a 21 year old autistic man, who had no money, did not know his way around the Chicago area, cannot read or write and does not speak very often, who wandered away from his apartment in a Chicago suburb.

Hopefully, John Valle and Jamaris Collins will be found, or turn up, safe and sound.

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