Autistic People Don't Like Hugs? Quick, Someone Tell Conor
The news is full or reports (1), (2), (3), (4), of autism "hug avoidance", which claim that persons with autism do not like hugs and other physical contact:
"A defect in the brain explains why many people with autism avoid touching and hugs - even from their parents, research has shown." (UKPA)
My older son loves hugs and also likes to climb onto my back and wrap his hands round my neck, play with my hair and climb onto my shoulders. I like big bear hugs, but find a lot of other physical contact very difficult. Everyone's different.
My eldest to this day HATES hugs. When he was an infant he screamed when held longer than a minute or 2. That claustrophobia thing we didn't know we had yet.
The issue is likely selectivity, also of course individual differences. I'm an Aspie, a condition which in my case was expressed by my genes due to exposure to longterm child abuse.
I've always been resistant to hugs, except with my children (now grown and gone away) and my former husband. In both cases, it was more that I needed to hug - and I'd squish them like mad - than be hugged back. Have you noticed that with Connor?
Males having one X chromosome makes them more likely to be autistic than females. It does not make the condition more severe. Indeed the ratio of boys to girls with LFA is 1:1 where as it is about 4:1 for HFA.
My daughter at one time hated hugs, now she wants to initiate them. She still is resistant to someone hugging her, but she does love to be kissed.
We have a common point of agreement here; all three of mine are very cuddly children who love hugs and cuddling. And since the DSM-V won't apparently be placing an avoidance of physial contact as a core behavior, it doesn't appear that a consensus of researchers hold this to be a core behavior.
I have three children on the autism spectrum, all of them at one point distained any type of touching. The younger two, both with moderate forms of autism will actually initiate hugs and kisses now. My oldest who has profound autism absolutely loathes being touched still to this day. Go figure, think it's different with each individual.
Awesome pics! I found you on Faces of Autism.. what a sweet kid! I have a sometimes-hugger, but when he gives them its enough to last til the next time!!
LOL. My son missed that one too. It's a spectrum on the symptoms as well. I see both kinds of kids, and my heart breaks for the ones who don't get kisses and hugs because that hurts. It's so often accompanied by other kinds of unresponsive behaviors, like not smiling. The kids seem not to miss the affection, but the parents do. That's the first symptom I wish we could get rid of tomorrow.
Harold, you never discuss Conor's educational placement and personal issues about how you came to where you are today. Is this a conscious choice you have made? I think it would add some context to your views. Please correct me if I have missed it.
I suppose it depends on whether or over or under registers touch. If you over register you might not like touch, if you under register you may seek out pressure in the form of hugs.
Not being affectionate is definitely one of those autism myths! I wonder how many doctors have delayed the diagnosis of one of our kids because of that myth! Showing affection does not rule out autism.
13 comments:
My older son loves hugs and also likes to climb onto my back and wrap his hands round my neck, play with my hair and climb onto my shoulders. I like big bear hugs, but find a lot of other physical contact very difficult. Everyone's different.
My eldest to this day HATES hugs. When he was an infant he screamed when held longer than a minute or 2. That claustrophobia thing we didn't know we had yet.
My youngest is my snuggler.
The issue is likely selectivity, also of course individual differences. I'm an Aspie, a condition which in my case was expressed by my genes due to exposure to longterm child abuse.
I've always been resistant to hugs, except with my children (now grown and gone away) and my former husband. In both cases, it was more that I needed to hug - and I'd squish them like mad - than be hugged back. Have you noticed that with Connor?
I try to read this post as my son is squishing me kissing my face.
Males having one X chromosome makes them more likely to be autistic than females. It does not make the condition more severe. Indeed the ratio of boys to girls with LFA is 1:1 where as it is about 4:1 for HFA.
My daughter at one time hated hugs, now she wants to initiate them. She still is resistant to someone hugging her, but she does love to be kissed.
We have a very huggy kid :-)
Jenn
We have a common point of agreement here; all three of mine are very cuddly children who love hugs and cuddling. And since the DSM-V won't apparently be placing an avoidance of physial contact as a core behavior, it doesn't appear that a consensus of researchers hold this to be a core behavior.
I have three children on the autism spectrum, all of them at one point distained any type of touching. The younger two, both with moderate forms of autism will actually initiate hugs and kisses now. My oldest who has profound autism absolutely loathes being touched still to this day. Go figure, think it's different with each individual.
Awesome pics! I found you on Faces of Autism.. what a sweet kid! I have a sometimes-hugger, but when he gives them its enough to last til the next time!!
LOL. My son missed that one too. It's a spectrum on the symptoms as well. I see both kinds of kids, and my heart breaks for the ones who don't get kisses and hugs because that hurts. It's so often accompanied by other kinds of unresponsive behaviors, like not smiling. The kids seem not to miss the affection, but the parents do. That's the first symptom I wish we could get rid of tomorrow.
Harold, you never discuss Conor's educational placement and personal issues about how you came to where you are today. Is this a conscious choice you have made? I think it would add some context to your views. Please correct me if I have missed it.
I suppose it depends on whether or over or under registers touch. If you over register you might not like touch, if you under register you may seek out pressure in the form of hugs.
Not being affectionate is definitely one of those autism myths! I wonder how many doctors have delayed the diagnosis of one of our kids because of that myth! Showing affection does not rule out autism.
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