Parents who speak honestly about the realities of autism disorders and the few journalists who dare challenge established views of autism causation are under attack .... again ... by Forbes Columnist Emily J. Willingham, formerly known, a few years before her Forbes career, as blogger Daisy May Fatty Pants. Not content to express her legal opinions about the outcome of the criminal charges that have been brought against the accused killers of Alex Spourdalakis, his mother and a woman described by Willingham as Alex's "godmother", Willingham launches into a tirade against parents who describe the harsher realities affecting those with severe autism disorders, parents of children with severe autism, children who do not sit as corporate trustees on organizations like the ironically named "Autism Self Advocacy Network" corporation:
"It’s become typical, again and again, for parents who murder their autistic children to get some kind of a “pass” from the commentariat and the news media because, well, autism is “such a challenge.” That’s in part because some autism organizations and members of the news media have successfully presented autism as a “monster” and a “ kidnapper” instead of as the developmental condition that it is. So in the public mind, an allegedly overwhelmed mother with “ no supports” should certainly be pitied and not judged harshly for killing the “monster.”"
I am a Canadian, not an American, lawyer. Whether in Canada or in the US though I would not presume to know the outcome of a judicial proceeding. Since there does not appear to be any question about WHO killed Alex Spourdalakis, or that his killing was intentional, and if those appearances are confirmed in court, I assume all relevant evidence will be considered in determining what sentences will be handed out to the accused. That evidence will probably include the stresses on those involved including the mother's mental health at the time of the relevant actions and the mother's views on why she killed her son.
As the father of a 17 year old son with severe autistic disorder, profound developmental delays and epileptic seizures I know that once I have passed on my son's life prospects will almost certainly diminish. Now at home and school he is living a happy life by the measure of anyone who knows my son including those who know him best ... his mother and father. My son is cherished and I would not and could not do what the mother of Alex Spourdalakis did but I can not stand in the shoes of Alex's mother, I have not lived the stresses and challenges she has faced.
The realities of life with a severely autistic child can be very, very stressful and it has been often in our household. Some people break under pressures. To date neither I, nor my wife have broken. As a lawyer I have some advocacy skills and I have been active in advocating for early intervention and school services for children with autism in our province. Some people have also flattered me as being of strong character .... others have simply pointed out, probably more accurately, that I am just stubborn.
I am continuing to advocate for early intervention and school autism services and for adult autism residential care services. My autism advocacy efforts have received some modest recognition as a New Brunswick recipient of the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal:
I do not mention my modest accomplishments for the purpose of self aggrandizement. I mention them because despite the challenges faced in our home arising from caring for the severely autistic son we love I also have some advantages, as a lawyer with an advocacy career, in coping with those challenges. Not all parents enjoy similar advantages in dealing with the stresses and pressures of raising a child with severe autism disorders.
While attending a law school class reunion brunch several years ago I brought my son Conor with me. I didn't know if, or for how long, he would be able to manage the event. As it turned out he loved it. The ball room in which the brunch was held, my classmates and families present were quite orderly and the food was excellent. Conor was quiet and enjoying the view when a waitress at the event approached our table and asked if he was autistic. I answered yes but asked her how she knew since he had been sitting very quietly, happy and I thought unnoticed. She replied that she had 3 children of her own. I have never forgotten that encounter or the realization that for her as a waitress, without a professional advocacy background, and with the challenges of raising not 1 but 3 autistic children she probably faced greater challenges than I could imagine. I have tried not to judge other parents of autistic children the way Willingham and other business sponsored "autism is a condition .... not a disorder" Neuordiversity ideologues do.
Whether Willingham and other business publication writers, vaccine industry sponsored writers and Neurodiversity extremists like to admit it or not when people receive an autism diagnosis, which is a medical diagnosis, they do so because autism is a disorder not a "condition". The term is now formally known as Autism SPECTRUM DISORDER with three levels of severity with respect to the varying levels of support in daily living required: support, substantial support or very substantial support. My son requires very substantial support as it appears Alex Spourdalakis did.
It would be better, instead of using his death as a launching pad for attacks on parents who do not share her Neurodiversity "autism is a beautiful, alternate way of thinking" ideology if Willingham would actually use her bully pulpit at Forbes to explore the harsh realities confronting those with severe autism and their families and actually advocate for services for them. But no I won't hold my breath waiting for such a great awakening.
A US court will determine the fate of the mother of Alex Spourdalakis. I suspect, despite pressure from Forbes' columnist Willingham and other business sponsored writers and Neurodiversity ideologues the harsh realities of the life of Alex Spourdalakis, his severe autism disorder and the impacts of that disorder on his family will become known to the public.
My Ped put us down at Level 2 for our request for a Dog Guide. Our school board psychologist said "He's doing amazing, no longer ID, but he stays in that Dev class" and it's in writing (which is what I wanted). ASD is not roses. Ironically my behavioural one is the one that "passes for normal". I have no idea what happened in that home. I understand people can only take so much. I understand offered supports and actually supporting are not the same thing. Having been there, been told that, and have learned to questions "professionals" and build our own team.
ReplyDeleteThe courts decided guilt or innocence and only them. Not those who never spent years in that families home.
Congrats on the award.
There is a bit more to the story than it appears on the surface. It should go without saying that raising special needs children is tough, some people follow the wrong path and cause more trouble for themselves and their children.
ReplyDeleteI try to explain that in my latest post which is about Alex Spourdalakis and something called 'Autism biomed'. The links in the post can better explain it and the complicity of other people.