Conor Enjoys Saturday Morning With Dad

Conor and Dad didn't wait for Father's Day. We got out together early this morning walking on the trail, down to the river for some adventure, and some fun at the "Circle Place". There was also time for some gum ball treats.


autism

Sphere: Related Content

Conor Goes Exploring At The River

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Conor's Water Balloon Therapy

Conor seemed a bit worn out driving home from school yesterday, at the end of the week, until he got home and found some water balloons!

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Buddies Forever

Parents advocating for our autistic children are occasionally lectured and told that we must stop trying to "change" our children. We must learn to accept our children's autism and find joy - in their autism. I do not find joy in Conor's autistic disorder which presents him with serious challenges now and for the future. But I find great joy and comfort in Conor himself. And it takes no effort on my part. Conor is a happy and loving boy. And lots of fun.

During the Fredericton Flood, now receding, sleep was hard to come by as we stayed on top of the basement flooding wth sump pump, shop vac and buckets. Above Dad tries to get some rest on the couch. Conor, stimmer straw and all, decides to pay a visit.

Buddies forever.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Autism Fun - Conor and Dad at the Circle Place

After a long tough winter it is no problem getting Conor outdoors for a walk, especially if we go to "the circle place", the Lawrence Amphitheatre in Nashwaaksis. The Saint John River has flooded this spring and we have to take a different route. Once there Conor loves to walk around the rings and circle at "the circle place". After Conor relaxes with a watermelon treat.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Autism and Stimming - Conor Shows How It Is Done

The photos above are of Conor relaxing with Dad this morning at the Second Cup, Kings Place, Fredericton, one of our favorite weekend haunts. The staff have seen him there with Dad for the past several years. They know he has autism disorder. They know him as Conor. They have seen Conor laughing and enjoying himself. They have seen him melt down on occasion. Conor has always been very welcome at the Second Cup.

In the photos above, in sequence from top to bottom, Conor is seen stimming with a straw, his favorite stim object. In the bottom picture the straw is moving so fast you can barely see it in the photo. If you look at the basket behind Conor in the first 3 photos you will clearly see a red ribbon hanging down the side of the basket. If you look at the bottom pic you will see an object in front of the basket, slightly obscuring the red ribbon, Conor's straw, moving so fast it is barely discernible.

For Conor stimming is not a way of communicating with his environment. It is not a special autistic language. It is what he does.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Conor Loves The Snow

This is one of the hardest winters we have experienced in this part of the world for a long time. But Conor is not complaining about the snow. Heck no, the snow is no problem and autism is not an issue. Conor enjoys the snow, he loves the snow, just like so many other Canadian kids.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Where's Conor? Where Did Conor Go?

Conor has autism disorder.

He also has his own lively personality quite separate and apart from his autism. He is much more as a person than his autism. He is a lot of fun. While these pictures were being taken I was asking "Where's Conor?" "Where did Conor go?" (When my mouth wasn't covered).

Conor enjoyed every second of our fun. And so did Dad.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Conor Is 12 Today. Happy Birthday Buddy!

Conor turned 12 today. Happy Birthday Buddy!

Below Conor enjoys his cake and relaxes with Mom.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Conor And Dad Dueling Computers

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Conor the King of Snow Mountain

It was a mild afternoon today and as we headed to the car for a trip down town Conor decided to climb the snow drift beside our driveway. It has been a traditional Canadian winter with lots of snow. Conor enjoyed himself on the top of his snow mountain. Like anyone who grew up in Canada I knew exactly how good he felt up there. We ARE Canadian.















autism

Sphere: Related Content

Conor Shows Off His Basketball Skills For Dad

Conor showing off his ball handling skills at the gym for Dad while Education Aide Brad Daniels looks on. Brad has done some great work with Conor in the gym this year. It was a real thrill for me to be able to attend at the school gym yesterday and see Conor having so much fun.

It is a large field house style gym and there were many other children making lots of noise which didn't seem to bother Conor at all. A huge plus!




autism

Sphere: Related Content

Autism and Affection - Conor Waits Anxiously For Dad

Last evening I got home late after finishing work at 8 pm local time. When I pulled in the driveway I could see Conor though the window in our side door .... waiting anxiously for Dad. His mom said he had been asking for me since 5:30 pm and had gotten a bit upset, asking for me almost non stop, with some wall banging. He was happy to see Dad and insisted (Daddy help) that I help put him to bed.

Obviously I wish Conor had not gotten upset but at the same time I would be lying if his expressed desire to see his old Dad at the end of the day did not lift my spirits considerably. Although I have trouble with the concept of finding joy in autism, I have no trouble accepting Conor for who he is, a fun loving, caring boy who loves his mom, dad, brother, Nanny, Grammy, Grampy and whoever shares his life with him in a caring way. That is who Conor is ... with or without autism.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Autism Disorder and Impulse Control

There are many puzzling features of autism. Hence the puzzle symbol for autism. Some of the mystery is being removed as our daily news brings us reports of new studies mapping the genetic and biological basis of autism. But even those areas are just beginning to be explored and while we are living through an Autism Knowledge Revolution there is much which remains unexplained and mysterious. Impulse control is one of those unexplained mysteries.

Even 10 years after Conor was diagnosed with Autism Disorder I am still startled by the impulses which suddenly seize Conor, and I mean seize literally, turning gentle acts of affection into potentially injurious and even dangerous acts of violence. Conor is very affectionate, tactile and observant. He likes to place his hands on either side of Dad's scruffy bearded face and study my face. But some times, suddenly, his hands dig painfully into my face. Sometimes he will grab my throat. Conor has also suddenly grabbed his mother by the hair and snapped her head and neck. Walking arm in arm downtown Fredericton, as we often do on weekends, he will occasionally grab by arm forcefully.

We have never thought for even a second that Conor intentionally tries to injure. I do not believe he has control during these instances. An impulse appears to overcome him suddenly and often is not preceded by any apparent triggering environmental stimuli. Conor simply appears physically seized by a powerful impulse.

I do not know what causes these seizure like impulses. I realize that my description of these events may sound like they are epileptic seizures and Conor's pediatrician may well confirm that lay person's guess. I know that there are many articles commenting on comorbidity of autism and epilepsy. Putting a new name on them may well be helpful in leading to other literature and understanding but I suspect that the behavior itself when it happens will always be startling and mysterious.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Autism and Haircuts, Conor Visits Linda at the Cutter's Edge

Conor, earlier this week, before his haircut

Conor, after his haircut, yesterday

I have commented about haircuts and autism, or at least haircuts and Conor who has Autism Disorder, in the past. He is very sensitive to sounds and sights and to being in a confined space with other people very physically close to him, occupying his space. Years ago a haircut meant Dad holding Conor while the barber cut his hair with Conor's hands, and sometimes his teeth, digging into Dad's shoulder. With time simple desensitization has taken some of the ordeal out of a haircut for Conor - and Dad. This year at school Conor's UNB-CEL Autism Intervention Trained Teacher Aides have practiced with Conor at school, putting him in a similar chair with a cloth over him, imitating a visit to the barber.

Over the years we have also taken Conor to the same person to get his haircuts - Linda, at the Cutter's Edge, in the Brookside Mall in Fredericton. Conor knows Linda and that makes it easier in itself. But Linda also has the skills, the personality, the experience working with Conor, and the willingness to work with him. A haircut for Conor is an event that is always filled with some anxiety and when it goes well, when it goes smoothly, as it did once again yesterday, we very much appreciate it.

Thank you Linda.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Autism and Personality - Conor Relaxes With Dad

Autism is often discussed in terms of personality and in terms of affection or lack thereof. In reading descriptions of autism a person might think that all autistic persons have the same personality. Someone reaching that conclusion would be mistaken. I have met many autistic children in the course of my autism advocacy and membership in autism organizations here in New Brunswick each with their own distinct personality. I have talked about the negative realities of autism on this site because I do not want to paint a false picture of the challenges my son and our family face because of his autism. I have also tried to show the laughing good natured boy you see in some of the side bar pictures too.

While Conor can be overwhelmed by being in crowds, or by some people getting too close to him, he is in fact very affectionate. He often is very close to those who work with him professionally. And he is very affectionate with Mom and Dad. Here, while I worked on a home computer this afternoon Conor decided he would drape himself all over Dad while eating his Rice Krispie square.

No questions asked; just the most natural place in the world for Conor to be. And Dad did not object.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Autism and ABA - Conor Is Eager To Get Back to School and ... ABA

Today was the first day back to school after Christmas vacation in our school district. For Conor that meant return to his Teacher Aides, his structure and routine and ... his Applied Behavior Analysis, (Discrete Trial Training version). And he couldn't wait to get back to school this morning. Conor was dressed, had his back pack in hand, and was on the step eager to get to school ... a good 20 minutes before it was time to leave.

There are some very high functioning autistic adults who claim that ABA violates the human rights of autistic persons and deprives them of their personalities. Some of those who make the claim are very intelligent and articulate adults who were not even diagnosed as autistic until their late teen and adult years; some had no involvement with ABA. These anti-ABA activists, by virtue of their excellent communication skills, do not share the same realities of life as Conor. Conor is echolalic, with limited understanding and command of language, without ABA we would have had no effective way to communicate with and teach him to adapt to the world, to the best of his ability, as we all must do.

The anti-ABA activists do not speak for Conor. He speaks for himself when he waits eagerly for his ABA therapist to arrive at home. Conor speaks for himself when he dresses for school 20-30 minutes early; eager to get back to school to his Teacher Aides, his routines ... and his ABA (DTT) based education.

ABA is a violation of Conor's human rights? A theft of his personality?

Conor's happy face says otherwise.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Conor Counting and Stimming

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Autism and Public Places, Conor Makes Progress

My son Conor, for first time visitors to this site, has Autism Disorder with profound developmental delays. One of the issues which has plagued Conor from his earliest years has been his inability to handle being in public places. He is beyond any doubt sensitive, overly sensitive, to environmental stimulation. At one time we could not visit a department store with Conor without him having a meltdown on the scene. We dealt with it by staying in the store and ignoring the tantrum behavior that often accompanied such visits. Conor would literally scream and kick on the floor of department stores. Other shoppers would look at us with the look that said "why are they abusing that child?" Neurodiversity bloggers will still make that accusation. But with time that behavior was eliminated and Conor, to both our benefit and his, began to be able to visit public places without engaging in tantrum behavior or having a meltdown.

In the past several months though Conor began to regress. Even in places where I took him on a regular basis it became difficult, and sometimes impossible, to visit for any time without a meltdown. I continued to take him to the most familiar places with the least environmental stimulation to try and restore his comfort level with public settings. After making some progress for awhile I pushed the envelope too far during the Christmas holidays, as I commented on previously, and Conor had one of the worst meltdowns I have ever seen.

Even more recently though Conor has again shown great progress. We ask him whether he wants to go into the grocery stores when we go there or give him the option of "stay in car with Daddy" while my wife gets the groceries. Usually Conor would say "stay in car". But he surprised us fairly recently by saying "Sobeys" the name of the grocery store we were going to visit. Last night again when going to the "Superstore" grocery store Conor expressed the wish to go in the store. Inside the store, I buy apples individually and I asked for his help in counting and placing apples in the plastic bag before I tied it up. Conor smiled and had fun in the store.

I also took Conor for a drive to a nearby community and back. Conor enjoys driving with Dad preferably with no radio or discs playing. At the end of the drive I took him to a local McDonald's expecting to have to again go through the drive through because it had been awhile since Conor would sit down in McDonald's without a tantrum. This time though I asked him and he agreed. We went inside and Conor was smiling and relaxed. It was fun.

If parents are struggling with visiting public places with their autistic child have faith that things can improve. You may have to try different approaches and you may want to consult any therapists who are working with your child but the situation can improve with time and effort.

autism

Sphere: Related Content

Joy of Conor Christmas

Conor had a lot of fun this Christmas, not because of his autism, not despite his autism, he just had fun, just like any other kid at Christmas.





Conor enjoyed the snow and was pleased to get some Christmas fun gifts.





What's the point of stickers if you can't wear them on your hands?






Woooops! That snow bank is a little deeper than I thought!






Oh Canada! I Stand on Guard for Thee!







Hey, I AM CANADIAN. A little bit of snow doesn't bother me!





Back to work, well fun sort of work anyway!

Sphere: Related Content